Late Night Chat with Jeff: Obedience, March 3, 2024, live on Baba Zoom

We have some informal chat after every arti, the "post-arti party"! But once a week, Jeff Wolverton joins us for some serious mining of the spiritual depths. Join us for conversation, more readings, songs, quotes - you never know what treasures will be uncovered!

Dear folks of Baba,

Many of us are reluctant to get near the subject of obedience, not even with a ten-foot pole! And I’m sure we all have many war stories that could be told. I have found here at the Center that this subject is one of the least discussed topics among Baba lovers. Why is that? Probably because it is so personal, and to talk about our struggles involved in trying to obey Baba leaves us very vulnerable. And yet obedience is central to this life with Baba. He holds out to us the highest ideals: forgiveness, honesty, freedom from worry, empathy for others, generosity, patience and cheerfulness, to name a few, and it is profoundly challenging to live such a life. For some, obedience can seem like an external and uncomfortable constraint on their behavior, and each one has his or her own personal definition of what obedience means to them and what they are capable of at any given time. Most Baba lovers say in retrospect that, even though Baba’s stress on obedience can sometimes seem like an imposition in the short term, it has led ultimately to an increasing experience of inner freedom.

We are a mixture of love and selfishness, and so to “disobey” so to speak, comes with the territory of being human. In my own particular definition of obedience, I take it that living from the loving side of myself is obedience, and when I go against love and am selfish, I take that as a form of disobeying my deeper self. In my earlier years with Baba, I had to struggle like most of us with lust, greed, anger, criticalness, fear and all the other selfish inclinations, and when I went against doing the loving thing, I would have to struggle to get back on my feet. That struggle was for me an inevitable and essential part of leading the spiritual life. In those years I would sometimes beat myself up for falling short of my ideals, and luckily, Baba was always so forgiving and compassionate, like a most loving mother. In times when it took a long time to get back on track, I came to realize that my self-pity and guilt would only postpone my being loving again, and so my heavy mood would only continue my self-centered focus.

Over time, it became vitally important to discern what I was actually capable of in living up to Baba’s ideals. For example, it was obvious that I wasn’t able to live an anger-free life, but I was at least capable of expressing anger a little less. It became clear for my own well-being during certain periods of my life, especially in my youth, to know what my next baby-step was in living up to Baba’s highest ideals. And Baba even sees to it that following Him is not easy. Why is that? He has described His method with us as two steps forward, one step back. When asked why one step back, He said that in going one step back, our pride of progress is being annihilated as we go along.

All this that I’ve written hopefully will stimulate discussion of this sometimes uncomfortable topic. How would you define obedience? What have been your struggles? How do you recover when you fall short of what you feel Baba is asking? Do you feel Baba’s support through your struggles. Do you have compassion for yourself? Do you have a healthy balance of self-acceptance and self-improvement? Do you ever feel Baba is disapproving? Do you sense sometimes that you have projected the disapproval of your parents, teachers and others on to Baba?

Baba has said, "Obedience seeks the pleasure of the Beloved.” Have you, over the years, become more sensitive to what would please Him? Has it been a process of refinement, and how would you describe that? Do you feel that Baba's emphasis on obedience is really in our own best interests? Have you found that Baba has lovingly turned your weaknesses and shortcomings into humility as well as empathy for others?

In His love, Jeff

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