Late Night Chat with Jeff Wolverton: Blind Spots, April 2, 2023, live on Baba Zoom

We have some informal chat after every arti, the "post-arti party"! But once a week, Jeff Wolverton joins us for some serious mining of the spiritual depths. Join us for conversation, more readings, songs, quotes - you never know what treasures will be uncovered!

Topic: Blind Spots

Dear folks of Baba,

We're all familiar with how easy it is to notice the blind spots in others, their weaknesses and shortcomings, but what about those in ourselves that we fail to see? How open are we to seeing our own blind spots? Of course, there are some who are inclined to always see faults in themselves—to a fault. But the ultimate purpose is not becoming more “perfect” but more self-aware in order to remove the obstructions to the flow of our love.

Because of Baba in our lives, many of us have learned to be more self-aware. He has gone to great lengths in His discourses to describe many of the subtle manifestations of the ego, helping us examine ourselves more deeply: all the many forms of our selfishness, ambition, position, possessiveness, etc. Of course, there are some who are inclined to always see faults in themselves—to a fault. What things that Baba has said have helped you this way? Others could benefit from how you access these trouble spots.

We often become aware of our weaknesses inadvertently by being confronted in conversations with friends and associates, spouses and relatives. How do you react if others are accusatory in their comments? Children, too, have a knack of blurting out their simple observations, which to adults can be devastating. Have you had similar experiences?

Chances are that initially you're caught up short, resisting recognizing any flaws that are exposed. Things get awkward, as you find yourself in denial mode: "I don't always react defensively--I just like to clarify things, right?" What does it take for you to accept the plausabiltiy of their observations? A bit of time for it to sink in? What else? Does your trust in others play a part in how easily you accept their feedback?

Subtleties inhibit understanding. You say to yourself, "Well, I'm not always doing/saying/thinking that. Or, "My behavior wasn't really so terrible, was it?" How can we see through these self-justifying thoughts, to recognize our self-delusion? More to consider: reacting judgmentally; inwardly feeling superior or proud; holding grudges. What ones come to your mind?

How deeply should we delve into our shortcomings? Might we get mired in them, self-focused instead of being focused on remembering Baba? The ego gets to remain on center stage.

Baba seemed to have left some of the mandali "in the rough", leaving their flaws untouched, perhaps as it would have taken away from their colorful personalities. Aloba, Baidul and Dr. Deshmukh come to mind.

Have you ever tried enlisting the help of a friend by asking, "What do you think my worst habit is? I really want to know." If their response was less than direct, did they feel put on the spot, caught off guard? Or, did they want to protect your feelings? Is there a good way to get people who know you to give their honest assessment?

Even when so-called blind spots might have been revealed to us, and we believe that we’ve worked on them them (a mighty task, breaking a habit), a sort of secondary situation can occur: when a blind spot mutates, disguising itself as a strength, do we think: "Sure, being judgmental used to be my style; now I'm careful only to be discriminating in my opinions." Or, "It's not feeling superior, I'm only feeling sorry for them." And, "I'm aware of grudges; but I've got to be sure I don't let myself be hurt again." Do you have any thoughts on this?

When someone sincerely asks for feedback about their faults and shortcomings, how do you approach this question?

How do we become and stay self-aware?

I’m reminded of this well-known prayer, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as it is and not as I would have it…"

With invaluable help from dear friends, in His love, Jeff

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