Late Night Chat with Jeff Wolverton: Making Others Happy, March 5 2023, live on Baba Zoom

We have some informal chat after every arti, the "post-arti party"! But once a week, Jeff Wolverton joins us for some serious mining of the spiritual depths. Join us for conversation, more readings, songs, quotes - you never know what treasures will be uncovered!

Topic: Making Others Happy

Dear folks of Baba,

Baba has said, “True happiness lies in making others happy.” What does He mean by "making others happy?"

How are we to relate this to others? They might think that getting their way will make them happy. But we all know that usually doesn't work. Merely giving in to others and doing what they want can put us in the position of being taken advantage of. Is being acknowledged (BEING SEEN), loved and appreciated what makes us most happy, to know that we are being supported in our relationship with Baba and experience a feeling of belonging?

Baba has said that we should give happiness to others even at sacrifice to ourselves. How much of our own happiness should we sacrifice?

And then there is the question of how intimately we should be involved with others. Baba once gave as a guideline, “Not too near, not too far.” This is something very difficult to determine, because our natures are so different. What is intimate for one person may seem distant for someone else.

The mandali were very personal with us, taking a deep interest in our lives with Baba, not just during our visit to India but in many cases for the rest of our lives. They made sacrifices for our spiritual well-being, always supporting our lives with Baba. What does it mean to foster the spiritual well-being of others? Are there ways that we (though not having their gifts) can follow their example? The author Andre Gide has this phrase: "simply a DISPOSITION TO WELCOME."

This brings up the importance of right adjustment to others. When we think of Baba's telling us that “right adjustment to others" is his preference, how does this translate into our behavior? Is it different for different people?

There are so many ways to respond to others: being neutral, civil, pleasant, kind, friendly, personal. What is required to discern the appropriate response in each situation? How well do we have to know someone? Can we truly assess how needy they might be, or their capacity to be receptive?

What about our own comfort level, our social adeptness? And then can we handle rejection, if we don't get it right?

What level of intimacy is being called for? Is being FRIENDLY enough? This might imply a certain distance, or reserve. If we are concerned for the well-being of others, are we not called to be more involved, more caring, more PERSONAL? (But, is there a danger of being intrusive?)

Mother Teresa put it so devotedly: "Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one come to you without leaving happier.” (Could Baba mean that we are ALSO to be in readiness to make sacrifices for the spiritual well-being of others, which unfortunately may not satisfy what they want?)

A tall order. How do YOU apply that injunction to make others happy, to put others' comfort before our own? Please feel free to share some examples.

In His love with great help from dear friends, Jeff

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